Parosmia stinks!

Remember when I said I'd get to this later, well now is the later.....
Quote from Wikipedia 'Parosmia -  an olfactory dysfunction that is characterised by the inability of the brain to properly identify an odours "natural smell".
Bit of blurb really, but in laymans terms, instead of  the pleasant smell of your favourite food simmering away for example, that smell is distorted and instead you get an unpleasant smell like, a burned, rotting, fecal (sorry), or chemical smell like sulphur. And because, as I mentioned earlier, smell is directly linked to taste receptors.....yes you've guessed it it's what it tastes like as well.
And so just to be awkward, I have Anosmia in one nostril and Parosmia in the other, so guess what that's like when you're trying to eat?  Or maybe you'd prefer not too!

So let's backtrack a bit shall we.  Once upon a time this girl passed out and hit the back of her head very hard against a wall. This shook her brain so much, (yes I do have a brain I mean she does have a brain, whoops!), that it severed the olfactory nerve fibres attached to her olfactory bulb.
Quote- 'Olfactory bulb' - a structure in the brain that processes information about odours. This meant with the nerve fibres not attached to it anymore, her sense of smell went.
Yes you clever people I was talking about me!  You'd never have guessed!

Anyway at the time when it happened my doctor,  (now ex doctor),  said not to worry, its temporary you'll get it all back in a few weeks when the swelling goes down. Soooo nine months later still no smell, still no taste, except for the Parosmia bit which you are now all experts on!

Ok at this point, no more funnies.
I wanted to curl up into a little ball and never peep out again.  I wanted it to all go away so that I could be normal, I wanted to give up.  I felt like my life was over.  And these feelings are still there, that's why I'm writing this bloody thing anyway.  Writing it all down makes me re live it all I know, but in a way that makes me want to fight it, not just give in and accept it.  I don't want to accept it! 
I've read articles about this when anosmics say, "you just have to learn to live with it, you'll adapt"  or, " you'll get used to it after a while". Are they joking?
Get used to looking at lovely colourful, perfumed flowers and not even bothering to go and smell them because I won't be able to, or they'll smell like crap.  Get used to rubbing my freshly grown herbs through my fingers then realising, as I put them up to my excuse for a nose that they won't smell. But instinct tells me to do that as its what I used to do when I had my wonderful sense of smell. Get used to the fact that my husbands aftershave which I bought him for Christmas and used to smell lovely, now smells of nothing, he smells of nothing. Get used to seeing the look on face when yet again I burst into tears.
I think I'll have to stop writing this for a bit I'm afraid or I'll start crying now. But this is not the end of it oh no!!!

Food glorious food!

Hello, if you've not read the first post, it might be better that you do that first or this post may not make senses!

And so with smell, comes taste.  As smell is directly linked to the taste receptors, (we won't go into the science), in many cases, such as mine, if there's no smell then there's no taste, full stop! I've always loved food, as any member of my family would agree! So it's not so great when anything I eat is tasteless. And then there's my Parosmia, which I'll get to later if you're still reading this by then!

The fact that there is no cure, that all I'm told by doctors, consultants, professionals, is that it might come back in time or never, as the case may be, seems a bit hit and miss to me. Almost as if all of these people have run out of ideas or didn't have any in the first place. "It's not that common" I'm told, "there's no money to do research, it isn't life threatening", and "there are more pressing/urgent illnesses that people are going through, so this can't take priority", I understand all of this, I really do, but to me it's a big deal. Ok not life threatening, but life changing, heartbreaking, frightening, all of the 'ings' I can think of actually!!! Sometimes if I don't make a bit of a joke out of it I'd probably start crying and never stop.
Oh dear here comes the feeling sorry for myself bit again, but if we can put a man on the moon, fly to Mars in an aeroplane, (good old Richard Branson), grow stem cells to make new body parts , which of course is a wonderful thing, or start inventing human robots, that look human and can think for themselves, (scary), then why the hell cant someone invent a cure for this? I bet any Anosmic would prefer it than having a robot do the housework, or better yet cooking tea for them!

Ok rant over, if you're still with me at this point keep your eye out, or follow me for post number three. And any comments or feedback would be very interesting to hear, as long as it's not too mean!!
See you in a bit.

Things I took for granted.

Quote from Wikipedia: Anosmia 'The inability to perceive odour '

Quote from me: 'I can't smell bugger all'

I went for a walk around the estate this afternoon to post a letter that said 'you should be on the electoral register but if you don't that's ok we'll just charge you £100 for being a naughty girl'! That cleared my head!

However, while I was walking I realised that sometimes I forget there is such a thing as smell, that the world doesn't actually smell at all, and everybody's nose is just a vessel to breath through.

I think the world doesn't smell of anything because there is nothing to smell.

Food doesn't smell of anything, cut grass doesn't smell of anything flowers don't smell of anything, and perfume, what's the point in that if you can't smell it? 

It's only when I look at these things that I realise they do smell, especially the things I've just described, as they are, or were nice smells. It's just that I can't smell them. Thing is I can't smell horrible things either like sour milk or dare I say it sweat, or bad breath, but even that would be OK because it would be a smell!
I know that this sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself, I suppose I am, but that's how I feel at the moment. I need to let it out, to explain it even of its just to myself and maybe people who would be interested in reading this?